Team legends
by Mr.palkira
Summary: When Engineer's new invention goes wrong, Sniper, Heavy, and Demoman must venture through the glades of dream to find their way back to their world.rated T for foul langauge
1. Chapter 1

Alright so gallery shock may have been a total downer so I thought about it and decided to make a new fan fic that might be better I will try to update this story alot but as now i will say what I and all you other fanfiction writers will always say. I do not own anything and will now go on the story.

The red team gathered around the Engineer to see what his invention is. "Yippee ki ya yay coyote, the Group teleporter is now finished." Engineer shouted. "And what is this new toy do?" Spy said while tossing his cigarette to the ground. "This baby will get the whole team to the to the capture points faster rather than waiting for just one person at a time at a small teleporter." Engineer explained to the team. "Well lets get move on, tiny baby man wait for beating." Heavy said then pounded his fist. "Mmph mmph hurr (wheeze, cough)." Pyro wheezed. "Aye I couldn't agree with you any more laddy." Demoman said to the pyro then chugged a bottle of beer. "Wait you understand this maggot you one eyed skunk." Soldier shouted Demoman. "No i don't, I jost want to make him fell like he was aport of dis private helton." Demoman. "Why if I have to crack some skulls I will." Soldier yelled. The scout pulled Soldier away "Yo brotha what's your major malfunction we shouldn't be fighting each other." Scout told Soldier. "He is right mate we should be out there fighten the blue team." Sniper said. The team stepped into the teleporter. "Ohh this is much exciting." Medic said in his usual german accent. "Alright we are fully charged." Medic said looking said the gauge. "Then we should going right engie." Scout said getting his bat ready. Engineer pulled the contraptions door closed and activated the machine. "Ten second till teleportation 10...9...8…egh boys there is a spy. The blue spy walked to the giant teleporter "don't mind me just came to tinker with your toys." He spat out then placed a sapper on the machine but instead of stopping the rotating metal contraption it sped it and started violently shaking and teleported the red team away but then exploding in the process killing the blue spy.

Heavy woke up in a forest with sniper and Demoman. "Where did we go so wrong." Heavy groaned. "stepping into that machine thats what, Piss where the bloody hell are we." Sniper questioned Heavy. "I dunno I was gonna ask same thing too." Heavy said. "Look like scotland to me lads." Demoman said emptying the last drops of beer in his mouth. "No you are in the glade of dream you ruffians" A man of no limbs shouted accompanied by a female viking. "Lads I thick I drank too mach again i'm seeing a guy with no arms or legs with a nice lassie." Demoman said gripping his empty bottle tightly. "Nah mate it ain't the drink that's doing anything because I can see it too." Sniper said adjusting his shades. "You ready to shuffle you hooligans." The female Viking said twirling her axe around. "Let us dance little girl." Heavy said getting in his fighting stance and cracking his knuckles, Demoman smashed his bottle against the rock and points at at the limbless man and the sniper pulls out his fancy machete. "Ugh they always think they can." The female viking said swinging her axe at the sniper who blocked it with his melee weapons thats when heavy punched her across the the face. "Crap Rayman they are cooperating with each other not like most enemies." the she-viking said rubbing her face. "Yeah and help get this drunk man off me Barbara." Rayman begged trying to stop the Demoman from scooping his eyes out with the broken bottle. "I'm a gonno hang your big nosed head on me mantle." Demoman said to Rayman with his breath reeking of alcohol. Barbara kicked the Drinker off Rayman who then stood up to only fall down and fell asleep. "Eh be sensible lets just talk through this kid." Sniper assured them. "How about you talk with my boot in your mouth." Rayman said kicking Sniper in the face and knocking him out. "Hey Rayman I don't think these are the right guys." Barbara said while fighting with Heavy. "What makes you say that?" Rayman questioned. "Well one they don't become balloons, two they aren't the right color, three they smell actually nice." Barbara said then smacked Heavy over the head. "Agh what's the matter with you." Heavy said then did his taunt move he pulled his finger gun out. Rayman laughed at him "Ha a finger gun you are desperate." Rayman laughed. "POW!" Heavy yelled and Rayman was sent flying backwards into a boulder. The sniper recovered from the kick in the face and went over to Heavy. "Look were just lost and we were looking for a way outta here we did not really need trouble." Sniper said to them. Rayman walked over to them "Then why didn't you say something." Rayman said rubbing the bump on his forehead. "Because you attacked me first and I did say something but you put ah a shoe in my face." Sniper said "agh argh I (hic ) think the drink having an effect on me (BURP)." Demoman said but then fell asleep again "We could bring them to Murfy he could probably think of some..ah." Barbara said but was cut off by a small earthquake. "Holy dooly what the piss is that." Sniper said looking at the giant ship floating in the sky. "Razorbeard" Rayman whispered.

Okay so thats where it ends i will update it and work on chapter 2 later for the rest of the team there fate is unknown. please review, comment and tell me is there any flaws is it just good or great. Soon I will try to fix any errors in Gallery shock so tata for now.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Team fortress or Rayman so now that's outta the way let us continue. Rayman and Barbara run to the top of the hill to see the madness from afar. Teensies we're being brutally hurled into cages. Sniper made it to the top with Heavy carrying a Drunk Demoman to see the chaos that was being caused. "Crikey this is bloody awful." Snipers response to the madness. "We don't have much time if we keep staring at it let's get moving before all of them are caged." Rayman commanded as he went into the jungle. The rest of the group followed him through. Just as the team approached the bridge one of Razorbeards lackeys small ship flew right by it. "Blow the bridge to pebbles!" Yelled the commander of the group. The ship fired and the Bridge was rained with cannonballs and explosives, the bridge no loggers stand and Sniper watched the chunks of the bridge fall into a crevice about 80 yards deep with a rushing river at the bottom which has pointy rocks. The blast of the explosion was enough to wake of the sleeping drunk. "Eh wat just happened?." Demoman blurted out. "Robot pirates destroyed the bridge and we can't jump over it because it too long of a jump, So yeah the Teensies are pretty much doomed to a life of slavery so keep with us will ya." Barbara yelled at Demoman while clutching her Helmet. Demoman then had a great idea he grabbed his sticky bomb launcher and put three bombs to the ground. "I got an idea, I'll use dis launcher and bombs to get you to da otter side. Rayman and Barbara we're hesitate but Heavy went first, to their supirse the bombs actually got Heavy to the other side. "Heavy is flying." Heavy said before landing with a tumble into a thorn bush. "Agh, Sniper help me!" He cried out in pain. Sniper went next and it went without a hitch and he manage to pull Heavy out of the thorn bush. "Thank you Sniper!" Heavy said to the Sniper "No worries mate." He replied. Rayman did the jump and was smart enough to use his chopper hair to land perfectly. "Holy Jarate, where the bloody hell did you learn to do that one eh...oh Rayman right." Sniper said unsure of the limbless hero's name. "Yes and I always really had the power to do that." Rayman repiled. Barbara was next and she did the same thing that Rayman did but her wings on her Helment kept her from crushing. "All right I'm last" Demoman shouted as he used his sticky bombs. Demoman preformed the sticky jump but failed to realized he used two not three, therefore he did not make the jump. "Demoman!" The whole team yelled. Sniper took off his hat and said with sorrow. "Ya served us well Demoman hope your soul rests in peace." Just as the group was about to walk away there was an explosive and Demoman blasted himself right onto the side the team was. "Alright I'm alive." Demoman cheered and jumped for joy. Everyone but Barbara cheered in happiness. "Drat I thought that kill him." She mumbled. The group continued through the forest being chased by pirate ships until they were stopped at the clearing. The team stop dead in their tracks because they have been confronted by a tank a robot pirate popped the top hatch open. "Bags of flesh and limbless man detected, protocol must annihilate." It says then closes and the tank proceeds to move towards the heros. "Run away!" Rayman yells but the tank fires and blows up the way they came in and then fires at the exit and blocks that off. "Let us fight tank." Heavy shouts and starts up his minigun and starting shooting the tank with a rain of bullets. Demoman starts to fire his grenade launcher and Sniper with his submachine gun. After 30 seconds of continuous fire they stop. The smoke clears revealing that they did little damage to the tank. "It not possiple." Heavy cries the tank aims at Rayman then fires an explosive at him. Rayman leaps out if the way only taking a little from the fragments of the explosive. Barbara leaps onto the tank and tries to pull the hatch open but its too tight. "Big guy I need your help." Barbara called for Heavy. Heavy quickly climbs onto the tank. The tank proceeds to fire another explosive round onto to rayman thus sending him into the air and hitting the ground with a loud thud. "Hey big man i need you open the hatch." Barbara said to Heavy. "Yes and my name is Heavy." Heavy said then started pulling and the handle with all his might. "Extreme power attacking hatch must use defense protocol 11AB activate." The robot said then the top of the tank started spinning with a great speed. Heavy kept his grip and the handle of the door and the handle of the small ladder. "Agh, no!" Barbara shouted as she lost her grip she was then caught by one of Heavys powerful hands. "Thanks Heavy." She said and regained her grip on the tank. Heavy uses his strength to rip the hatch off. "Here I come coward!" He said as he dove in to only get stuck. "Barbara Help me." Heavy screamed. Barbara got to Heavy and smacked his rear end with the side of her axe sending Heavy in. The team watches as the tank stops spinning and starts to rumble. "Take dat and dis and dis, hahahahahaa." Heavy shouted as he tore the robots from limb to limb sending it out the tank. "Bloody brilliant." Demoman cheered. Barbara steped of a bit dizzy went behind a bush to go puke. Heavy head pops out of the broken hatch at the top. "All aboard S.S Tank, so let's get a move on." Heavy shouted. Demoman helps Rayman in while Sniper goes and checks Barbara. "Don't ya worry laddy we get you in by the way me name is Demoman." The Scottish man says as he get Rayman in. "Thanks Demoman." Ray said clutching his side from the pain of the rough landing and the fragments from the explosive. "Hey lassy how ya doing after going on that whirling death trap?" Sniper asks her. "Just find..I think I just need to(gulp!) take a seat." Barbara gags while holding her stomach. "I'll help you in the tank come on." Sniper said leading her to the tank. After that sniper tries to fix the hatch as best he can with the welder that was in the trunk in the tank. "It will open and close but don't use too much force or it will break again." He explained to everyone then closed the hatch gently and got in the drivers seat. "This tank was probly made to hold a crew of robots but looks like Heavy destroyed them all." Rayman said kicking a robot head aside from where he was sitting. "Fight make me hungry good thing I pack sandwichs." Heavy said pulling out a couple sandwichs. "Heavy not really share food with anyone but you all look hungry so I share with you." He said giving everyone a sandwich while Sniper figured out the controls. "Tanks Heavy we could really count on you." Demoman happily cheered as he bit into the sandwich. "Now only if ya packed scrumpy." He said while chewing his food. "Alright I figured it out mates and I'll get us out of this place." Sniper said taking the little joy-stick and moving it. "Aiming at rock pile eh FIRE!" Sniper shouted as he blew the rock wall apart. "Now let's go save the Teensies, grr with this thick jungle in da way it probly will be an half hour trip but beats walking." Sniper said then hands Rayman a med pack he was keeping with him from 2-Fort. " Here let me patch ya up you will feel better in a couple minutes." Sniper assured Rayman while patching him up. Heavy takes a deck of cards out of his pocket. "Let us play Cow boy hold em card game using crackers as chips." Heavy says pulling a box of Ritz crackers out from his vest. "I believe dats Texsas hold dem." Demoman pointed out. "How do you play this game?" Barbara questions Heavy "Will you first bet how many crackers you want..." "So it's like gambling." Barbara said cutting off Heavy. Barbara used to see her fellow Vikings gamble over who would win in a fight til her kingdom was destroyed by invaders and dragons. "Ya it's like dat so..." Heavy continues on. For purpose reasons I will not tell you how to play poker because it's to boring to go over it and yes Barbara kingdom was destroyed, I do not own Ritz cracker all through they are fabulous. And will work on chapter 3 sometime later on this month. 


End file.
